Office of Terrestrial Confusion - Tunnel 1

A debriefing on Earth’s most unstable export.

Welcome back to HQ. Your exposure to the human construct known as “COOL” has been confirmed. You arrive here as both expert witness and data point.

Preliminary findings remain inconclusive. Contradictions persist. Some insist “COOL” is a resource, others a performance, a weapon, or simply an elaborate Earth joke. Your testimony will decide which version survives.

Your mission is to distil its components and trace its patterns: where it appears, who names it, who carries it, how it mutates across borders, fashions, and generations.

Working in pods under live supervision, you will classify specimens, perform field tests, and debate paradoxes. Will you argue? Will you contradict each other? Will you contradict yourselves?

This is a participatory research facility. All findings will be archived by the Office of Terrestrial Confusion to prepare the next upcoming missions to Earth.

Observation commences now.

Duration: 70mins